The Bailout
By Mike
Chapter 38: The Solution
By Pake Shlake BandThe two brothers were at an impasse. They knew the only entrance was on the roof, but only one of them had access to it. “Alright,” Johnny said. “Let’s go to the store and get some flashlights and battery powered lamps. We will look around, and then try to reaccess our options.” He then turned to the fox. “You stay here, and try to think of a way that Mike can get to the roof that other, shall we say, slower people can’t.”
“Will do,” said the fox.
So, with that Mike and Johnny went to the local hardware store for their supplies. When the two returned, the fox was still outside, looking significantly dirtier, but with no visible progress on a path to the roof.
“I’m still working on it.”
Johnny turned to Mike. “OK, I guess this time I’ll have to fly you up, but in general this is not going to work.”
“Um, how should we do it? Should I grab onto your feet, or should you carry me like a bride?”
“Dude, don’t ever suggest I carry you like a bride again. Get on my back.” Mike wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck, as the two prepared to lift off.
“Do you feel like Fezzik in Princess Bride with me around your neck like this?” Mike asked.
“If you mean because I feel like I’m about to pass out from suffocation, then yes.” And with that, Johnny slowly started to rise off the ground.
Kombucha
By Pake Shlake BandIt was Joke Time last Friday, where we ask you to create a set-up for a predetermined punchline. We counted the votes, and Tony edged out the competition. Well done.
On Tuesday, Johnny mentioned a magic Chinese elixir. We thought we would make this week’s Game Time about it.
Use the term “Kombucha” in a sentence or short dialogue.
But, you don’t have to Kombucha to mean Kombucha. That is to say, create your own imaginary definition, and let context clues make your definition clear. Here is ours.
Mike: Hey, what’s that?
Johnny: Oh, it’s a Kombucha.
Mike: Aw, it’s so cute!
Johnny: Don’t touch! It’s poisonous!
See how it works? In our dialogue, Kombucha was some sort of cute yet poisonous creature. Now, you try.
Mike’s Political Cartoons
By Pake Shlake BandHello, folks! As you may know, we at the Pake Shlake Band are big fans of politics. (We are?) (Well, not really big fans, sort of average fans.) (Ok, that’s better.)
As you may know, we at the Pake Shlake Band are sort of average fans of politics. And, we find political cartoons enjoyable. But, not that enjoyable. In fact, we think they stink. Big time. And to show this, we have decided to start doing our own political cartoons. (Whaat?) Mike has taken it upon himself to enter the cartooning business. He is not the best artist. In fact, we think he stinks. Big time. But, we figured, what the heck? So, in the next few days, you might see some political cartoons on this site.
Let us know what you think. Your feedback is always appreciated. As long as it is positive.
Vote for Gioc about Jokes
By Pake Shlake BandYou ever hear the one about dictionaries and cookbooks? We heard like ten of ‘em. Pick which joke is the funniest.
Which is the best joke?
- Wanna know how to quickly drop 10 pounds?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(0%, 0 Votes) - What do you do when you see a huge cockroach crawling on the ground?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(0%, 0 Votes) - What’s the quickest recipe to get somebody to eat their words?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(50%, 2 Votes) - Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Throat
Throat Who?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!”
(0%, 0 Votes) - Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(25%, 1 Votes) - This joke involving Rachel Ray that was too long to put in the poll
(25%, 1 Votes) - How do you get a good recipe for alphabet soup?
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(0%, 0 Votes) - Your momma’s so stupid she joined a book club to throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
(0%, 0 Votes)
Total Voters: 4
Loading …Vote quickly because the polls close tomorrow at 9. Get it?
And If You Don’t Know, Now You Know, Shlakers
By MikeYou know the rapper the Notorious B.I.G.? Biggie Smalls? Yeah, him. He has a song called “Juicy”, and here are some of the lyrics:
Now I’m in the limelight ’cause I rhyme tight
Time to get paid, blow up like the World Trade
It is an interesting allusion to the attacks of 9/11. More interesting is that this song was released in 1994, seven years before the terrorists attacked New York City and Washington DC in 2001. It seems as though Biggie Smalls is a modern day Nostradamus. Now, I am just waiting to see which of the honeys have his baby. Baby.
Komboo-ya
By JohnnyEarlier today I heard the word “Kombucha,” pronounced “Kom-BOO-cha,” and I fell in love with the Chinese Magical Health Elixir. Then I smelled the stuff. I quickly fell out of love with Kombucha. Then I said the word out loud again. KomBOOcha. And I liked it just fine. Then I heard that even though it is supposed to make you healthier, there have been studies that it gives people jaundice and makes them vomit, and I didn’t like it so much again.
It looks like I have an on-again, off-again relationship with an ancient Chinese tea.
Chapter 37: The Problem
By Pake Shlake BandAs the three pondered a way to get inside the abandoned warehouse, Mike ran around the house to look for any openings. A half-second later, he was back.
“Nope, no luck,” Mike said. “The only other thing I can think of is maybe there’s an entrance on the roof they didn’t board up.” Both Mike and the fox looked at Johnny. He looked back at the two of them, and shook his head.
“Come on, please?” Mike said.
Johnny sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll check.”
“Johnny, just do it! We have to train. This is important for our development. And what kind of super hero doesn’t ever use his powers? I mean, you might as well not even have them!”
“Dude, who are you talking to? Johnny agreed. He’s already on the roof.”
“Oh. I guess I figured he’d put up more of a fight.”
Mike and the fox stood looking up towards the roof, waiting for Johnny to come back down. After a few moments, he did.
“Guys, it’s perfect. There is a door up there, it’s unlocked and it leads downstairs. There are no lights or anything, so we will have to provide that ourselves. But, even if there were, we wouldn’t be able to use any of it, since then someone would know there are people inside.”
“There’s one problem,” Mike said. “I can’t fly.”
“Oh, snap.”
Gioc about Jokes
By Pake Shlake BandOur last Game Time involved stories about pirates. Based on your votes, Big A won, for his clever response about the economic crisis. Nothing like an economic crisis to get us thinking about pirates. Well done.
So, as you probably know, jokes were a big part of this week’s theme; that is to say, jokes were this week’s theme. We talked about jokes, and jokes, and more giocs. So, to continue the week’s theme, our gioc will be about jokes.
Think of a better set-up question to the following punchline.
Throw two dictionaries and a cookbook on the floor!
Our original question: Wanna know how to quickly drop 10 pounds?
Our new question: What do you do when you see a huge cockroach crawling on the ground?
See? Simple as pie. No, not simple as pi. Pi is a very complicated mathematical concept. Pie is a delicious dessert. Post your answers, or rather, your questions, in the comments.
