Hello, again. As you know, we at the Pake Shlake band pride ourselves on laziness. And, as we were priding ourselves on this, we realized that we had two deadly sins on our hands. And that made us mad! And jealous! Well, then we had four deadly sins, and we decided to get greedy and go for five!

Anyway, our deadly sin count is not the point of this post. Of course not. That would be ridiculous. The point of the post was to let you, our faithful fans, know that the Pake Shlake Band is going to be taking a break.

Yes, the Pake Shlake Band has become the Take Break Band. That’s right. It’s a TBB Original Game, Breaktakers. And we win.

Allow us to explain. When we started Shlake.com, we wanted a site where we could express ourselves in a crazy and funny way. Sometimes you would laugh, sometimes you would be confused, but every post should make you think, “Wow, those are some crazy guys!” and you would either laugh or furrow your brow.

But, instead of two crazy and funny brothers running a crazy and funny site, we turned into two poor stand-up comedians delivering one liners that even we didn’t think were funny. Not exactly a recipe for success.

So, we are taking a break and finding our roots. (And you know how much we love sweet potatoes).

What does this mean for you? Well, not much. As you know, we are over two years old now, which in blog years is like 65, meaning we are ready to retire to Florida and start eating dinners at four. (Pass the sweet potatoes!)

Anyway, we will not be posting as frequently as we did in our youth, but feel free to check back from time to time since we probably will throw some stuff up. And, since we won’t be posting every day, the stuff we throw up should be funnier. Or at least more true to ourselves, i.e. ridiculous.

We thank all of you who were regular posters – Lorenzo, Luca, Tony, Sam, DJ, Mamma Meg, Big A – and those less frequent posters, who are either not worthy of naming or actually just spammers that got through our filters.

Don’t think of this as a “Goodbye,” think of it as a “See you later.” Much later. Think of it as a “See you in hell!” No, think of it as a “Sayonara.” Or an “Adios.” Or a “Bon voyage.” Or, who knows what.

Anyway, thanks for reading this and never be afraid to shlake it up. Grac.

It’s time once again for “This has never happened before, so why are you saying ‘It’s time once again for’ about it?”

I’ll be your host.

When I was in third grade, I made a New Year’s Resolution to never make another New Year’s Resolution. But, now as I am getting older, I think it’s time for me to break this resolution since I’ve realized that not everything I did and said in third grade still applies.

Next, I’ll convince myself that all girls do not, in fact, have cooties.

Can someone help me. Since Friday, we have been in the year that follows 2009. I can’t figure it out though.

Some people call it 2,010 like “Two thousand ten” and some people call it 2010 like “Twenty ten.”

While the mathematician in me would prefer “Two thousand ten,” the slacker in me likes “Twenty ten” because it saves me a syllable.

Me? I just want to get rid of all of the mathematicians and slackers that are hanging out inside of me. There’s not enough room for you, and it’s just plain gross.

If it’s Friday, it’s Game Time! Except when it’s Saturday.

Last Week’s Winner

Hello, and welcome to a rare Saturday edition of Game Time! It’s been a busy holiday season, and we at the Pake Shlake Band have been a little negligent in our duties. But, don’t worry, our New Year’s Resolution was to make sure we do things on time. So, we are kicking the new year by playing Game Time one day late.

It was still Christmastime when we last played Game Time, and we wanted to know if you had heard any weird lyrics to Christmas songs. Let’s take a look at what you said.

Lorenzo used the classic line, “Don we now our gay apparel.” I wonder what Queer Eye For the Straight Guy thinks of this.

DBeck came close to getting back-to-back wins, as he criticized the Beach Boys for wishing Santa Claus a Merry Christmas and then telling us that Christmas comes at same time every year. In fact, we are a little surprised ourselves that DBeck didn’t win, since usually insulting the Beach Boys is all it takes.

But, as it turns out, Lorenzo submitted a second answer that steals the win. In “Here Comes Santa Claus,” also known as “Here Comes Santy Claus,” Gene Autry says “Let’s give thanks to the Lord above ’cause Santa Claus comes tonight.” To quote Lorenzo, “That is an unusual mix of religious and secular.” We couldn’t say it better ourselves. We probably could have said it equally well, though. Anyway, Lorenzo wins.

This Week’s Game

It’s the new year, and what better way to kick of the new year, than with New Year’s resolutions! Sounds like a good time for a round of the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts. Here’s the topic:

Worst New Year’s resolution

And here’s our answer: “In 2010, I resolve to eat less…poison.”

What do you think? Post it up.

You know how some people say, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s almost 2010. I’m still getting used to writing 2009 on my checks.” I think a good response to this is, “You still write checks? Pay your bills online, baby!”

Then they will say, “Don’t call me baby!”

From now on, I’m gonna take Mike’s advice, and call mid-October “Explorer season.”

It’ll go over well with the Knights of Vespucci order I’m in charge of.

So I was watching TV on December 25th, and someone said, “Wishing all of you out there happy holidays!”

No. That is wrong. It’s Christmas. You say “Merry Christmas” on Christmas.

That’s like if on Columbus Day, someone said, “I hope everyone is enjoying the Explorer season!” Sorry, Vespucci, today is Columbus Day, you say “Happy Columbus Day.” And on Christmas you say “Merry Christmas.” The End.

You know those radio stations that play Christmas music non-stop from like November 1st? I loved how they ended it.

One of the stations decided to keep playing Christmas tunes throughout the weekend, so the people who hadn’t had enough could still listen to Trans-Siberian Orchestra on December 27th.

Another station quickly dropped the holiday music Friday morning. Who needs to hear Christmas songs on Christmas? That’s what Thanksgiving’s for! Instead, they started counting down the best songs of 2009, and somehow, Bing Crosby didn’t make the list.

But my favorite was the station that played Christmas music all the way through the night of December 25. Then first thing on Boxing day, they started playing “The Monster Mash.”

Hello, again, and a Merry Christmas! You may have noticed that we at the Pake Shlake Band haven’t posted much this week. Well, there are three reasons. 1. It snowed and it clogged up the internet roads. 2. Today is Christmas, and we had to get presents and things of the holiday nature. And 3. We’re lazy.

Maybe the third reason is the most responsible, but at least we have two other reasons that we can use as an excuse. If you are really in need of some shlakeness, play the Game Time again. Or for the first time.

Anyway, we’d like to wish all of you a Happy Christmas, and we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled tomfoolery next week.