“Why did you bonk me on the noggin?” Johnny asked, rubbing his noggin.

“Well, it was a test, to see if you were dreaming.”

“1. Why did you lie about it then? 2. If we were dreaming, anything you do would be in your consciousness, so you’d have to bonk yourself. 3. You are supposed to pinch yourself to see if you are dreaming, not bonk on the head.”

Mike replied, “1. I lied to be mischievous. 2. If we are dreaming, I am clearly in your dream. 3.-”

“Ow!” Johnny exclaimed, feeling a pinch on his arm.

“I don’t think we are dreaming.”

“Well, I’m not totally convinced, but to avoid getting pinched again, I will concede the point. But, I am still going to bed now, and we can discuss our powers, and what to do with them, in the morning.”

“I guess you’re right,” Mike said. “And I am kind of tired, too.”

So, the two went into their rooms to go to bed. Mike laid in his bed imagining the potentials of his super powers and quickly faded off to sleep. A room away Johnny lay awake, wondering if they would get any more super powers, and hoping desperately that Mike got the power to not snore.

Hello, everyone! Big doings, this week. First off, early last week we had a post translating Shlakese into English. The term translated was “brav,” and we mentioned that we would use that word in a post this week, and the first person to post a comment on that post would get a shout out. Well, that post was about Wimbledon, and Emily was the first to post a comment. So, she gets a shout out. Emily!!!!

Next, we have to decide who won last week’s Game Time about the Celtics’ NBA Title. Your job was to think of a good headline to the news article. We got a lot of answers, but we are going to pick Nick as the winner, whose headline was “Lakers Drown.” Short and sweet, just like Nick. Congratulations, Nick! You won the first edition of Headliners!
Note: we do not know for certain if Nick is indeed short and sweet. We just guessed. He could be tall and mean for all we know, but we hope not.

Now onto this week’s game. We got a lot of responses last week for the inaugural game of Headliners, so we thought we would try the game again. (You see, to us, responses equal fun, so more responses equals more fun. And using fun, or equivalently responses, as an indicator, Headliners is a good game to play again.) To refresh your memory, this is how you play: we give you a brief summary of a news story; you think of a headline. Here is the article:

After over three decades at Microsoft, Bill Gates is retiring today. In 1975, Gates and Paul Allen, two Harvard drop outs, established Microsoft, which is now the biggest software company in the world. Bill Gates was the richest person in the world for almost a decade, and now ranks third on the list of richest people, with a net worth of 58 billion dollars. The 52-year old will now focus his efforts on the charity he founded with his wife, The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, but will remain on Microsoft’s Board of Directors.

Here is our headline:
Bill Gates Goes on Standby

Give us your headline in the comments.

For those of you who don’t know, Wimbledon started this week. And, at the All-England Club, they request that when you play you wear a predominantly white outfit (And by “request”, they mean “demand”). I guess the idea is that the snooty British people want all the players to look nice and fancy. But, if you ask me, I think they forgot something. Wimbledon is played on grass courts. Ever heard of grass stains? So, instead of looking nice and fancy, they will look like first graders after recess. Brav.

There once was a man named Brutus. He was the rudest, lewdest, crudest nudist Buddhist there ever was. His mom would say, “Don’t do this Brutus; show some prudence,” and he would say, “No.”

I carry my wallet in my back pocket, and occasionally I think I might not have it. So I hit my back pocket to check that it’s there. And if it is there, I can take it out and everything is fine. But, if it’s not there, it looks to the average passerby that I am smacking my bottom at them. This is significantly less fine.

Johnny laid on the couch while Mike paced the room as the two discussed the possibility of becoming super heroes.

“Let’s wait until tomorrow to figure out what we should do. Who knows, maybe this is all a dream and when we wake up tomorrow, we won’t have any special abilities.”

“Whoa, way to be a downer, Johnny,” Mike said.

“Well, I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up.”

At that moment Johnny felt a bonk on his head.

“Ow! Did you hit me?”

“How? I’m all the way over here!” Mike said from the other side of the room.

“That’s strange. I wonder what hap-Wait a minute! You have super speed!”

Mike gave a suspicious smile, “Who, me?” And at that moment, Johnny felt another bonk on his head.

Last week we asked you to use the Shakese term “brav” in a sentence, with the winner getting a shout out. DJ wins, for criticizing our lack of shout outs. But, since he mocked us, he doesn’t get a shout out. How do you like that, DJ? Oh, wait, I think in telling him we wouldn’t should him out, we actually did. Curse you, DJ!

For this week’s Game Time, we are going to introduce a little game we like to call Headliners. Or, Headline Makers. Or Editor in Chief. Okay, so we don’t really have a name for it yet. The point is, this is how you play. We give you a brief summary of a newspaper article, and you get to pick the headline. We will pick the best one in the next Game Time. Here is the article:

The Boston Celtics win their 17th NBA Championship, destroying the Los Angeles Lakers in Game 6, 131-92. For Phil Jackson, the loss means he is still tied with former Celtic coach Red Auerbach for most NBA titles with nine. Paul Pierce was named series MVP.

Okay, that’s the article. Your job is to come up with a clever headline to that article. Ours is this:

Big Three Win #17 in Six: 131-92, Statisticians Explode.

Post your answer in the comments.

When a ghost says, “Boo,” how can you tell if he’s trying to scare you or if he’s just heckling?

People say you shouldn’t go to sleep on an empty stomach. I agree, but I take it a step further. You shouldn’t go to sleep on a stomach at all. They are lumpy, and it’s awkward when the person whose stomach it is realizes you are sleeping on them and says, “Hey! Stop sleeping on my stomach!”

I recommend sleeping on pillows. Much more comfortable.

You know the old board game Mouse Trap? I think they originally made the game with a real mouse trap, but since too many kids got their fingers broken when it snapped, they decided to replace the mouse trap with a safer, plastic one.

And then they added the man jumping into the bucket.