In our most recent Game Time, we decided we would change the US National Anthem. And the people have spoken: Gary Glitter has replaced Francis Scott Key and Rock & Roll Part II has ousted the Star-Spangled Banner. “Hey!” indeed, my friends, “Hey!” indeed.

Yesterday, Johnny had an odd post, with some sort of old adage on it, a truism, if you will. We liked the idea:

Create a new saying that sounds like an old saying.

A good test to see if your answer is good is to throw some sort of introduction to it, like, “Well, you know what they say…” and then put your saying there and see how it sounds. To illustrate what we mean, we will reproduce our answer and truncate it to make it sound cooler:

Well, you know what they say: Every time it rains, it rains.

Simple enough, right? Post it here.

Every time it rains, it rains
Every time it snow, it snows.

This past Friday, we asked everybody what song we should use as our new National Anthem. New National Anthem because “The Star Spangled Banner” just doesn’t cut it anymore. And since it doesn’t cut it, we need to cut it. Out. Cut it out. And replace it. With one of these:

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Pick your favorite fast and we’ll tell you the winner tomorrow.

For those of you who don’t know, the Democratic National Convention started on Monday. I tuned in on the first day and am sad to say I was sorely disappointed. There were no fireworks, no legion of drummers, no flying men, no gigantic flame. What kind of opening ceremony is that? I doubt the Republican Convention next week will be much different. It is clear to me that American political parties need to take some tips from China.

So NBC ran this commercial near the end of the Olympics about one more race and how an American would win and how the whole world would be watching and how it would be exciting and stuff, and they were basically talking about the upcoming Presidential Race as if it were a part of the Olympics. But that got me thinking. Why don’t we actually have a presidential race? I mean, we have debates and mudslinging and things. Why not throw in a foot race? It wouldn’t decide anything, but it could sway a voter one way or the other?

And I nominate racewalking as the race. That or the Three-Legged Race with their VPs.

When we last left our heroes, they were trying to find a place to start practicing their super powers. Their newly found friend, the talking fox, said he might be able to help.

“Follow me, ” he said, and started walking towards the alley.

Johnny gave Mike a sideways look. “Should we trust him?”

“I don’t know…I don’t think he’s evil.”

“Yeah, I feel like we should trust him, but I’m not sure.”

“Well, if he is mischievous, we could probably take him,” Mike said.

“Yeah, we can take him out if we have to.”

“Hey, guys, I’m right here, can you not talk about offing me when I’m right in front of you?”

“Oh, right. Lead the way!.”

“Um, okay, but will you promise not to off me?”

Mike and Johnny looked at each other. Mike turned to the fox. “We promise not to off you. We’re the good guys, remember?”

And that assurance was enough to assuage the fox’s fears, and he began to lead the two down the alley.

Last week for Game Time, we asked you to name two people you would like to see compete in the newest Olympic event, The Three-Legged Race. You got to vote for the winner, and it was a tie. Half of you wanted to see Usain Bolt with a random partner, and the other half wanted to see Bob Costas and a rabid wolverine. But, since I don’t think the IOC allows species other than Homo Sapiens to compete, we at the Pake Shlake Band have decided to break the tie and award the win to DJ. Congrats, partner!

As the XXIX Olympiad winds down, we have noticed that NBC plays the US National Anthem a lot, showing the medal ceremonies and whatnot. And while the Star Spangled Banner is an OK song, I think we as a nation can do better. Here is this week’s game:

If you got to choose the national anthem, what song would you pick?

We wanted to choose a song that everyone knows. One that can be sung in preparation for war, or in celebration of victory. One that inspires hope in all of our diverse people. So, we choose Thriller by Michael Jackson. What could be better than a super smash song sung by an American that, if needed, comes with a choreographed war dance?

Think you know an answer to the rhetorical question from the last paragraph? Put our new national anthem in the comments.

Did you know there were two different types of gymnastics in the Olympics? They have the one they show on TV all the time, with the high bar and the balance beam and the vault and stuff. That’s called artistic gymnastics. Then they have a second type called rhythmic gymnastics. But, when I was looking at the individual events, I got a little confused. They have an event called Clubs and one called Rope. Those aren’t gymnastic events, those are murder weapons in Clue.

On Friday, we asked everybody who they’d like to see in an Olympic Three-Legged Race. Lots of answers came in, and five of them are here for you to choose from.

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Vote today and you can see the winner tomorrow. Sound like fun?

I know we’ve been talking about water polo a lot these days, but I’ve got one more thing to say.

So these people are playing this sport in a pretty deep pool where they have to tread water the whole time they’re in there. So when one player commits a foul, that shouldn’t just be a whistle and a stop in play. That should be attempted murder. He tried to drown the dude.