You know how when you are angry, people sometimes say you should count to ten? I think this is a good idea, except I say you should count down from ten and do it out loud. Try this next time you are having a fight with someone. Hopefully, it will help to keep you from yelling angrily at the other person.
But if it doesn’t, it will look really cool if you count down and then start screaming. It would be like a countdown to a beat down.
Michael Jackson’s death sure has made my car rides more entertaining. I’m already looking forward to when Paul McCartney dies. But I’ve got to be careful because if that happens too soon, we may be stuck with non-stop “The Girl Is Mine” and “Say Say Say.”
Hello again. And welcome to another edition of Game Time, everyone’s favorite Friday distraction. Last week was the PSB Original Game, Headliners, where you had to come up with a clever headline to an article about the Nationals beating the Yankees. How about a quick recap?
Tony’s response was perhaps the most concise and accurate: “Nats Beat Yanks, Still stink!” Very true, but perhaps a little too harsh. The Washington Post would never be so negative about a local team, the writers are too delusional.
Next, DJ said, “Yankees a National Embarrassment.” That would be a winner for the New York Post, but since we are Nationals fans and not Yankee fans, DJ loses. Sorry!
That means that the winner for this week is Elizabeth. Her headline was “The Nationals consider officially renaming themselves the Notionals in hopes for winning some games.” This came across as a believable headline, since it’s something totally ridiculous to try to change the team’s fate as opposed to, say, firing the coach! But, we digress. Congrats Elizabeth!
Now, this week’s Game Time. For those of you who don’t know, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has passed away at the age of 50. This is sad news.
But, we at the Pake Shlake Band pride ourselves on turning frowns upside down. We are frown flippers of the first order. So, this week’s Game Time will be about Michael Jackson. And, we will play the PSB Original Game, Little-Known Facts. This is an easy game to play, but allow us to refresh your memories as to the rules. We give you a topic, and your goal is to come up with a humorous, if perhaps untrue, fact about that topic. If you want to get a sense of the game, check out the past few times we’ve played. OK, here is the topic.
Come up with a little-known fact about Michael Jackson.
Here’s what we came up with:
In the song “You Wanna Be Starting Something,” the refrain “Mama say mama sa mama musa” is actually an Urdu expression, which roughly translates to, “Biggy Diggy Sniggy Donkey!”
See how easy it is? Now, we know Jacko is a controversial figure, so you may be tempted to put in a response about some of his more questionable hobbies. Please remember this is a family site. In other words, no references to “Ben.” Thanks, have fun, and post your facts.
So everybody know that Six Flags filed for bankruptcy recently? Well, they did. And I can’t seem to figure out why.
I guess it could be because they give away free park admission with a can of Coke.
That or the fact that they still use the Vengaboys in their commercials.
You know what expression I find very condescending? “Penny for your thoughts.” Dude, why are you a jerk?
1. You think I am such an egotistical fool that I would charge for my thoughts, or even take donations?
2. If I were really charging for my thoughts, don’t you think I would value them a bit higher than the lowest denomination of American currency?
And 3. Are my thoughts of such little value to you that you would offer me such a negligible amount in exchange?
No my friend, now you don’t get to know my thoughts. Except for this one: You stink.
Yesterday, Mike posted about mice, lice, and hice. I think I need to correct him on something.
The singular of “lice” is not “louse”. It’s just gross.
Since the plural of “mouse” is “mice,” and the plural of “louse” is “lice,” I’m going to start calling more than one house “hice”. Here’s an example:
Johnny: Hey, Mike, where are you going?
Mike: I’m going back to my house. Where are you going?
Johnny: I’m going to look at some houses. They are supposed to have nice Christmas decorations.
Mike: Oh cool. Why are their Christmas decorations still up? It’s June.
Johnny: The decorations aren’t up anymore. I just want to look at the houses that will have nice Christmas decorations come wintertime.
Mike: That’s odd. Well, have fun looking at the houses. I mean the hice.
Johnny: What?
Mike: The hice!
Johnny: Weirdo.
Notice Johnny used the archaic word “houses” because he is not up on the lingo.
Hoy es viernes, pues hoy es Game Time. Español, ever heard of it?
Last week, we had a game about Gumball Machines, and you were asked to improve upon the already wonderful concept. Here were some of your answers:
Tony said he wanted some hand sanitizers because gum ball machines are gross. We say poppycock. We also say nincompoop. Sometimes we say nanny-nanny-boo-boo.
Mitch Hedberg wanted a gumball machine that spits out smaller gumball machines. That would be awesome. But Mitch Hedberg is dead. So he can’t win.
Then we had a good idea from DJ. He wanted to be able to choose your own color (and hence flavor) because you never want to get a gross purple one. Eew.
But the winner goes to Lorenzo with his answer: “Something that makes it taste like Bubble-yum and not gross stale gum.” It was a close call, but if all the gum tastes like Bubble-yum, who cares what color it is. Not us. So congrats Lorenzo for winning last week’s competition.
And now on to this week’s game. Since we at the Pake Shlake Band are Washingtonians at heart and in reality, we have decided to play a round of the PSB Original Game, Headliners. Here’s the news summary:
The Washington Nationals beat the New York Yankees 3-0 at Yankee Stadium to win the season series. Rookie pitcher Craig Stammen got his first Major League win for a team struggling to avoid becoming the worst team in the history of baseball. The Nats currently sit in last place in the majors but were able to win the series against the most successful American sports team in history. Third baseman Alex Rodriguez went 0-4 in the game to go hitless during the three game series, while National’s counterpart Ryan Zimmerman was 3-5 in the win. The game was delayed over five hours due to torrential rains in New York. Coming into the series, the Yankees were 23-0 when allowing 3 or fewer runs. Washington ruined New York’s perfect record, winning 3-2 on Wednesday and 3-0 yesterday.
As always, your job is to think of a funny/clever headline. Here’s ours:
Delay Makes Pitcher show his Stammen-a
You’re up. Let’s see if you can hit a homerun with your headline. Or at least put an end to all the baseball analogies.
You remember those commercials for Apple Jacks where the adults ask why the kids eat Apple Jacks if they don’t taste like apples?
Um, 1. I’m not the one who goes grocery shopping, so don’t pin that on me. 2. Am I only allowed to eat foods if their taste is described in their name? And 3. Have you adults ever tried Rice Krispies?
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