You know the Christmas song “Winter Wonderland”? It’s a classic holiday tune, but listen to the first line:

Sleigh bells ring. Are you listening?

Sounds like the singer has some confidence issues. Maybe the first verse should go like this:

Sleigh bells ring. Are you listening?
In the lane. Pay attention to me!
A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight.
I’m talking, can you look at me?

And if that weren’t proof enough, remember when he builds the snowmen?

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he is Parson Brown.
He’ll say, “Are you married?” We’ll say, “No, man.”
“But you can do the job when you’re in town.”

What kind of loser builds a snowman and pretends it’s a reverend? Who then makes him feel guilty for being single? And the next one:

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he’s a circus clown.
We’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman,
Until the other kiddies knock him down.

What type of person anticipates other kids destroying his snowman? A needy loser, that’s who.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Game Time!

Last Week’s Winner

Last week, we played the PSB Original Game Little-Known Facts. Well, a few people played. Not many. It was kind of boring. We’ll declare Tony the winner since he was the first to respond.

We would wish Tony congratulations, but his win was not based on merit, and merit-less wins are hollow. Like tree trunks. Or swim trunks. Anyway, non-congratulations to Tony, a nod to Lorenzo, and a shake of the fist to the rest of you.

This Week’s Game

We are rapidly approaching Christmas, and as you may have noticed, holiday carols are filling the airwaves. And have been for about a month now.

A few Christmases ago, we asked you about an odd duet for a Christmas carol. This year, we are asking you a similar type of mash-up:

Combine two Christmas songs into one and describe what it is about.

We would combine “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” to get “Santa Claus is Coming for My Two Front Teeth,” a song about an elf who owes Santa money, can’t pay, and is now fearing retaliation. A classic Christmas/Mobster tune.

Your turn. Mash it up!

Um, not to be anticlimactic, but…does anyone know Mother Nature’s address?

While we’re writing a letter to Mother Nature, I’d like to add something. (You know I’m very much against wasting stamps. I intend to make my forever stamps true to their name.)

If we could add a little postscript action to that letter, here is what I would like it to say:

P.S.

You can come up with your own name though. Tooty Frooty Droppy Ploppying was just a suggestion.

Does anyone else get a little upset that its 20 degrees outside, there’s snow on the ground, and yet somehow winter doesn’t start for another two weeks? I’m thinking we should take this complaint straight to the top, with an open letter.

Dear Mother Nature,

Your Son,
Mike

You know how some people say “It’s not rocket science” when they’re talking about something that shouldn’t be too complicated? I don’t get it. Is rocket science supposed to be that difficult?

You light the fuse, the thing goes up. End of story.

‘Tis the season to play Game Time! Fa la la la la la la la la!

Last Week’s Winner

There is no winner from last week, primarily because there was no Game Time last week. Last Friday was the day after Thanksgiving, and you know how that is: Shopping, sleeping, lounging around the house. So we were too busy to post. But, there was a Game Time two weeks ago, so we could probably still pick a winner for that one.

Two Weeks Ago’s Winner

Two weeks ago, we played the PSB Original Game Bests and Worsts, and asked for a person with the best name-appropriate occupation. We were thinking of picking Joey Bag of Donuts as our winner, but then he demanded victory, at which point we said, “No way, Jose!” which is appropriate since Jose is Joseph in espanol. Anyway, he doesn’t win for the simple reason that he said he should, which was probably true anyway.

That means Elizabeth is the winner! She snuck in under the wire, posting yesterday, which was theoretically six days late. So, you posted late and would have lost if Joey hadn’t been rude. But you somehow managed to win anyway! That’s the true definition of a champion! Well done.

This Week’s Game

Well, it’s after Thanksgiving, which means the Christmas season is upon us! Last Friday was “Black Friday,” the unofficial kickoff for holiday shopping. We would have posted about it last week, but we were to busy shopping, sleeping, lounging, you know how it is. But, the point is the holiday season is upon us, and what better way to kick of the holidays than with a Game Time?

We at the Pake Shlake Band have our fair share of PSB Original Games, in fact, we have a monopoly on PSB Original Games. If you know anyone else who has PSB Original Games, report them to the authorities. Or us. We’ll take care of them. Heh heh.

Anyway, we were looking through our records and found that we haven’t played Little-Known Facts in a while. So let’s!

Give us a little-known fact about Black Friday.

Here is ours:
On Black Friday, the one millionth customer to enter a Target store gets a great deal on a TV. But, so do the first 999,999.

Wow, we didn’t know that. Did you? Give us your little-known facts in the comments.

Did you ever notice that the words “towel” and “bowel” rhyme? I mean, you probably knew it but never thought about it.

Anyway, so that can be confusing when your friend comes to you and says, “I was at the beach the other day, and this guy’s bowels were all over the sand.”

Then you’d be like, “Ewww.” But then you’d realize he probably said towels and not bowels, so you say, “Wow, that’s not cool that he was taking up so much space with his towels.”

Then your friend says, “No, I said bowels. It was really gross.”

Then you say, “Ewww.”

It’s time for a…FLAAAAAASH……BAAAACK.

And, I suppose, also time for lots of capital As.

One year ago, Mike talked about the mighty bulwark. Wanna see?

Bulwark