Hola mis amigos! It’s time for another edition of Shlakese, the language of champions!

Pork -
1. Why; derived from the Spanish ¿Por que?
2. Pork (colloquial)

The second definition is rarely used, possibly because we don’t use the term pork that often. Although we do use it occasionally. Here’s a dialog clarifying this week’s word’s usage:

Example
Johnny: Hey, Mike, would you like to taste of some of this pork?
Mike: Pork?
Johnny: Because I have a little that I don’t want to eat, and I’m being generous. Geez! I won’t even offer next time.
Mike: No, you are misinterpreting my words. I meant “Pork?” as in, “You’re offering me pork as opposed to beef? I want to make sure I heard you correctly.”
Johnny: Oh. But that usage of the term pork is colloquial.

It’s time once again for Learning Shlakese: One Word at a Time. Or Shlakese 101 for you college folks.

Choogadarai –
  You got that right; yes; you better believe it; you said it; you are correct, sir; am I not nodding in agreement?; right on, daddio

Example
Stranger: Hey, aren’t you Johnny from the Pake Shlake Band?
Johnny: Choogadarai.
Stranger: I’m sorry, what was that?
Johnny: Choogadarai. You know, CHOO-GA-DA-RAI.
Stranger: You’re strange.
Johnny: Choogadarai.
Stranger: You’re stranger than strange. And I should know. I’m a stranger!
Johnny: I gotta go now.

Wasn’t that fun? Shlakese, making the world brighter one word at a time. Or in this case, four words at one time at a time. Huh?

Hello, and welcome to another lesson in Shlakese, the world’s only nonsensical language, other than Esperanto. Here is today’s lesson.

Grac -
  1. Thank you, derived from the Spanish word “gracias” which means thank you.
  2. fat; also spelled gras, to show its origins, since “gras” in French means fat.

Want context? Here you go!

Example:
Mike: Hey, Johnny, pass the french fries.
Johnny: Here.
Mike: Grac.
Johnny: Yup, you!
Mike: No, I mean grac, not gras!
Johnny: I know. I’m just calling you fat.
Mike: Hmm.

Understand? Well, it’s okay. Shlakese takes time. So far, you should be able to use brav, coach, joke/gioc, and grac/gras in a sentence. Prove it. In the comments.

Hello, folks! With all this talk about jokes, we decided to have another lesson in Shlakese. You remember Shlakese, don’t you? You don’t? Brav.

joke -
  1. a joke, in it’s normal sense; also called a chiste, pronounced cheeste, derived from the Spanish word of the same spelling, which means, as you might suspect, joke.
  2. a game; also spelled gioc, since this definition comes from the word “giocco,” Italian for game.

Now, we will use both forms in an example, with the difference in spelling to help you understand context.

Example:
Mike: What’s a good joke?
Johnny: Scrabble.
Mike: No man, not gioc. Joke.
Johnny: What?
Mike: You know? Chiste? Joke?
Johnny: Oh, I thought you meant joke like gioc.
Mike: Well, do you have a good one?
Johnny: What does a prisoner use to call home?
Mike: I said a good joke. Brav.

See? It’s as simple as that. So play a joke on your friends by asking them if they want to play a gioc.

Hello again. It’s time again for another lesson in Shlakese, your favorite nonsensical language.

coach – a car; also spelled coche, but pronounced “coche” as in “coche” as opposed to “coche” as in “coche”; derived from the Spanish word “coche”, which, coincidentally, also means “car”.

Example:
Johny: Hurry, we’re late, lets go!
Mike: OK, we can take my coach…Oh, we need to stop for gas!
Johnny: Brav.

Simple enough, right? Now, amaze your friends by asking them where their coach is. When they seem confused, make sure to clarify you mean coach as in coche, pronounced coche not coche. And when they say, “I have no idea what are you talking about!!”, just smile and say, “Brav.”

So for last week’s Game Time, we kept the Triple Crown horse game going on way too long. We already asked about horse names once before and it wasn’t that much fun. Then we asked again, and it was significantly less fun. By the time we asked last week’s question, it was if we were beating a dead horse. (That would have been terribly insensitive had we written that last year, but so far it looks like Big Old Brown is gonna keep kicking…himself).

Anyway, so here’s what we’re gonna do this week. On Tuesday, we started explaining some Shlakese to everybody, explaining the Shlakiferous word, “Brav.” Well, we want everybody to brav it up for us:

Use the word “brav” in a sentence. Or a story. Or some sort of dialogue. Or just post the word “brav” in the comments.

Here’s ours:
“I figured it out! If I say ’strawberries’ right when I feel a sneeze coming on, I can stop myself from sneezing. Aa-aa-strawberries. Aachoo!”
“Brav.”

Think you can do better? Brav it up in the comments.

We at the Pake Shlake Band feel like sometimes we use a bit of lingo that is foreign to the outside world. And outside to the foreign world. This lingo, when used to the extent that we use it, may actually be considered a language. A language we like to call Shlakese.

So today we’re going to help you out a little bit by teaching you a bit of Shlakese so you can amaze your friends. Or just confuse them, whichever you prefer.

We are going to translate a word – a particularly shlakey word – so you’ll know what it means if you ever see it in the future on this site. Or any other site for that matter, although that would be really strange.

brav – a sarcastic interjection used when someone has made a mistake, or in general done something poorly; derived from the term “bravo,” which means “good” or “well done” in Italian.

Example:
Mike: Oh, no! I broke a plate!
Johnny: Brav!

See? It’s usage is very simple. See if you can use it in your everyday conversation today. And look for it in a post next week. First person to make a comment on a post that uses the term “brav” gets a shout out. Ooh! It’s like a scavenger hunt! Good luck!