“I have this.” Johnny pulled out from behind his back a strange contraption. It looked like a clear circular shield, with a tube sticking out of the bottom of it and a ring of tennis balls around the edge of the shield.

“Whoa,” Mike said, hs eyes wide in amazement. “How do you have the gun from the Assault event from American Gladiators??”

“Well, I threw an American Gladiator Party once, and Gemini gave it to me as a gift.”

“WHAT?? 1. Why wasn’t I invited? 2. How did you get Gemini to come? And 3. Why have you never shown this to me before??”

“I think you were out of town for some reason. It was all kind of spur of the moment. I ran into Gemini at the grocery store. Literally. He knocked me unconscious. I think that’s why he gave me the assault gun. Anyway, we can use it to test your speed and agility. The balls come out at like 100 miles an hour.”

Mike looked a little suspicious. “Won’t it hurt if I get hit?”

“Then don’t get hit,” Johnny said as he hooked the assault weapon up to the overhead catwalk. “Now I’m going to shoot these tennis balls at you, and you have to try to dodge them.”

“Um, I gues-OW!” Johnny had shot a ball that smack Mike right in the head. “Dude, you beaned me!”

“Hey, I told you I was gonna shoot it.”

“Alright, well, next time say “Go” or something.”

“Go!” Johnny said and shot three more balls right at Mike’s head. This time, Mike reacted quickly, side stepping two of them and catching the third one.

“Oh, it’s on now,” Mike said, as he and Johnny prepared to embark on a rigorous training regimen. Not far away, their friend the fox was finishing a regimen of his own.

Johnny and Mike were standing next to each other in the abandoned warehouse. Johnny had just inadvertently low fived Mike after he successfully navigated the obstacle course with his super speed. “Dude, that was too easy,” Johnny said.

“Yeah, I know. Like easy cheesy.”

“First, I meant that to be a bad thing. Secondly, I think you mean, like easy peasy.”

“But I prefer cheese to peas.”

Johnny thought for a second, then nodded in agreement. “Alright, I think part of the problem was it wasn’t really an obstacle course. Nothing was moving or anything, so it must have felt just like walking around boxes.”

“Well, to be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever done that.”

“But you could imagine that sensation,” Johnny replied. This time it was Mike nodding in agreement. “I have an idea to make it harder, but I have to go get something. You have to wait here since I am not flying you up here again.”

“Fine. I’ll amuse myself with my hats,” Mike said.

So, Johnny flew off, literally, while Mike amused himself with his hats. About 15 minutes later, Johnny returned. Several hats were on the floor beside Mike as he now had a beret on.

“Ho ho! Ah hope yew brought une baguette per moi,” Mike said in a poor French accent.

“Hey, that’s a pretty good imitation of a poor Frenchman!”

“Merci! Oooh, what you got there??”

“Well, I figured we needed to train you on how to dodge stuff coming at you fast, but shooting a gun at you would be dangerous, and we don’t have a gun anyway. But, I remembered I did have this.”

Mike’s eyes got wide. “Whoa!”

What was it? A rubber band ball? One of those weird pizza shooter toys from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Tune in next week, when you find out what exactly Johnny had.

Mike and Johnny, having agreed with the narrator to move the story along, began to set up some of the flashlights around the warehouse floor. It gave the room a faint almost dungeon-like glow, as if the two were in a secret hideout, which, in fact, they were.

“OK,” Johnny said as he looked around the dimly lit warehouse floor. “Let’s begin our training.”

“Alright! BALL OF F-”

“Dude.”

“Sorry,” Mike said. “Well, we should use some of those empty crates to set up an obstacle course for me. Super speed is useless without super change of direction.”

“Alright, let’s get on it then.”

The two brothers set up the crates around the warehouse floor, forming a narrow path that Mike would have to navigate through. Mike then went to the beginning of the maze.

Johnny put his arm in the air. “On your mark. Get set. Go!” Mike was gone and back in an instant. Standing next to Johnny, Mike put his hand out before Johnny even finished lowering his hand.

“Low Five!” Mike said.

When we last left our heroes, they were taking an extraordinarily long time to find out what is inside the warehouse.

“And when we last left the narrator, he was moving the story along at a snail’s pace,” Johnny said. The narrator thought for a moment, and realized the truth in Johnny’s critique.

“Really?” Johnny asked.

“Really?” Mike asked.

Really.

“Great!” Mike said. “Let’s move this story along then and get to the good stuff, like the training and crime fighting!”

Sure thing. But we should probably wait until next week.

“No!” Johnny protested. “Start now, let’s get this story rolling.”

Not wanting to anger the heroes, the narrator obliged. The two brothers made their way down to the ground floor and with the help of their flashlights and miner helmets, saw that the huge warehouse would be a perfect place to begin training.

“Wow, it is perfect,” Mike said. “But, I wonder why the narrator is being so nice to us.”

“It is a little suspicious, maybe he’s just in a friendly mood.”

And the two began to set up a workout center for their training and decided not to fire the narrator, despite the current state of the economy.

Johnny stopped in the middle of the cat walk. An extra beam of light had joined those of the two brothers.

“Johnny, what’s wrong?” Mike whispered.

“Someone is following us.”

“Should I turn around to see who it is?”

“OK, but be careful…” Johnny answered, still rooted to the spot.

Mike turned around, and instantly the light that Johnny had seen had gone.

“I don’t see anything, ” Mike said, turning back around.

“Yeah, I guess it’s gon- It’s back!” Johnny said.

“Where is he?” Mike again turned away, and as he did, the light disappeared.

“That’s weird,” Johnny said. “Wait a minute…” Johnny turned around to face Mike. As Mike turned to face his brother, the mystery of the light was quickly resolved.

“Dude, you have a miner’s helmet on!”

“Oh, yeah!” Mike said, looking up. “Want one?”

The two brothers were in mid-air, Mike grabbing on to Johnny as they made their way towards the roof. After a bit of a struggle, the two made it to the top. Johnny landed, and Mike fell onto the floor.

“Thanks, ” Mike said.

“No problem, ” Johnny replied, rubbing his neck. “Except, man, it was an effort.”

“Well, maybe you should get super strength.”

“And maybe you should get SlimFast.”

Mike picked himself off the ground, and the brothers made their way to the door. Johnny opened the bag of supplies they had just bought and handed a flashlight to Mike. “Alright, let’s have a look.”

Johnny led the way, entering the warehouse and shining his flashlight into the darkness. It struck against a flight of stairs which the two cautiously walked down. A flight below, the concrete steps turned into metal ones and the two began to make their way onto a catwalk, Johnny still in the lead with Mike just a few steps behind. From the brothers’ flashlights, two beams of light shone down below to the empty warehouse. Suddenly, Johnny froze. A third beam of light had started to shine.

The two brothers were at an impasse. They knew the only entrance was on the roof, but only one of them had access to it. “Alright,” Johnny said. “Let’s go to the store and get some flashlights and battery powered lamps. We will look around, and then try to reaccess our options.” He then turned to the fox. “You stay here, and try to think of a way that Mike can get to the roof that other, shall we say, slower people can’t.”

“Will do,” said the fox.

So, with that Mike and Johnny went to the local hardware store for their supplies. When the two returned, the fox was still outside, looking significantly dirtier, but with no visible progress on a path to the roof.

“I’m still working on it.”

Johnny turned to Mike. “OK, I guess this time I’ll have to fly you up, but in general this is not going to work.”

“Um, how should we do it? Should I grab onto your feet, or should you carry me like a bride?”

“Dude, don’t ever suggest I carry you like a bride again. Get on my back.” Mike wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck, as the two prepared to lift off.

“Do you feel like Fezzik in Princess Bride with me around your neck like this?” Mike asked.

“If you mean because I feel like I’m about to pass out from suffocation, then yes.” And with that, Johnny slowly started to rise off the ground.

As the three pondered a way to get inside the abandoned warehouse, Mike ran around the house to look for any openings. A half-second later, he was back.

“Nope, no luck,” Mike said. “The only other thing I can think of is maybe there’s an entrance on the roof they didn’t board up.” Both Mike and the fox looked at Johnny. He looked back at the two of them, and shook his head.

“Come on, please?” Mike said.

Johnny sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll check.”

“Johnny, just do it! We have to train. This is important for our development. And what kind of super hero doesn’t ever use his powers? I mean, you might as well not even have them!”

“Dude, who are you talking to? Johnny agreed. He’s already on the roof.”

“Oh. I guess I figured he’d put up more of a fight.”

Mike and the fox stood looking up towards the roof, waiting for Johnny to come back down. After a few moments, he did.

“Guys, it’s perfect. There is a door up there, it’s unlocked and it leads downstairs. There are no lights or anything, so we will have to provide that ourselves. But, even if there were, we wouldn’t be able to use any of it, since then someone would know there are people inside.”

“There’s one problem,” Mike said. “I can’t fly.”

“Oh, snap.”

When we last left our brothers, their friend the fox had dutifully led them to an abandoned warehouse to begin their training. Unfortunately, they were as of yet unable to get inside.

“Doesn’t one of you have something to get us inside, like a ball of fire or something?”

“No, Mike doesn’t have ball of fire, despite his attempts.”

Mike looked around shiftily.

“What? Do you know how to get inside?” Johnny asked.

Mike smiled and nodded.

“How then?”

Mike shook his head and pointed to his vocal cords.

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Fiiiine. How many times have I said your name?”

Mike held up two fingers.

“Mike.”

At the sound of his name for the third time, Mike finally began speak. “Man, jinx stinks.”

“So, how do we get inside then?”

“Oh, I have no clue, I just wanted you to say my name again.”

“Well, that should keep him quiet for a while,” Johnny said, referring to the jinx he had just put on his brother. “Lead on, my four-legged friend.”

The fox walked ahead of the two, leading them down alleys and back streets, careful to avoid fences. Johnny and Mike followed in silence, one voluntarily, the other one less so. After about ten minutes, they arrived at an old boarded-up warehouse.

“Well, here we are,” the fox said.

“Nice,” Johnny said. “What do you think, Mike?”

Mike shrugged, sort of nodded his head, but remained silent.

“And you are sure this place will be safe?” Johnny asked the fox.

“I’ve been by this place for years, and I’ve never seen anybody.”

“Great, let’s get to work then.” Johnny looked around. “Um, but how do we get inside? All the doors and windows are boarded up.”

“Oh that’s no problem, ” the fox said.

“And don’t try to make us slide under a fence or anything like that. You know where that got us.”

The fox looked away. “Oh, um…”

“Oh, dear.”