But no, carpets are really synthetic coverings to go over your floors. I guess “synthetic covering to go over your floor” would take to long to say though if you needed to warn somebody that their carpet was on fire. To be fair though, a frantic point and “FIRE!” would also do the job.

“Whoa,” Mike said, hs eyes wide in amazement. “How do you have the gun from the Assault event from American Gladiators??”

“Well, I threw an American Gladiator Party once, and Gemini gave it to me as a gift.”

“WHAT?? 1. Why wasn’t I invited? 2. How did you get Gemini to come? And 3. Why have you never shown this to me before??”

“I think you were out of town for some reason. It was all kind of spur of the moment. I ran into Gemini at the grocery store. Literally. He knocked me unconscious. I think that’s why he gave me the assault gun. Anyway, we can use it to test your speed and agility. The balls come out at like 100 miles an hour.”

Mike looked a little suspicious. “Won’t it hurt if I get hit?”

“Then don’t get hit,” Johnny said as he hooked the assault weapon up to the overhead catwalk. “Now I’m going to shoot these tennis balls at you, and you have to try to dodge them.”

“Um, I gues-OW!” Johnny had shot a ball that smack Mike right in the head. “Dude, you beaned me!”

“Hey, I told you I was gonna shoot it.”

“Alright, well, next time say “Go” or something.”

“Go!” Johnny said and shot three more balls right at Mike’s head. This time, Mike reacted quickly, side stepping two of them and catching the third one.

“Oh, it’s on now,” Mike said, as he and Johnny prepared to embark on a rigorous training regimen. Not far away, their friend the fox was finishing a regimen of his own.

Now onto this week’s game. As you may or may not know, the 146th installment of everyone’s favorite spy comes out today. (Okay, we exaggerated a bit. He’s not everyone’s favorite spy.) The New James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, makes its American debut today, so we decided to make this week’s game a Headliners in the movie’s honor.

Daniel Craig returns as James Bond in the 22nd movie based on Ian Fleming’s spy of renown. Craig follows in a long line of Bonds, including Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. In the newest film, Quantum of Solace, James Bond seeks revenge for Vesper Lynd’s betrayal and death and must stop an alleged environmentalist from taking control of a country’s vital natural resource.

Here is our headline:
Americans investing in bonds. James Bond.

If you have a headline, post it in the comments. And don’t forget to vote for the winner next week.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

Pick your favorite and in true American fashion, vote for the silliest.

So, once I finished writing this post, I realized, “Hey, I said he was my hero, like ‘hero’, as in the sandwich!” But then I realized I really didn’t intend for the play on words to be the joke. I really just wanted to express that the Earl of Sandwich is my hero, not to trivialize his accomplishments for the sake of a pun. After that clarification, I am confident that I have saved his honor. And ruined any chance of this post being even mildly humorous.

Anyway, Today is Veteran’s Day. Not to be confused with Veterinarian’s Day, which I believe, is in July.

“Yeah, I know. Like easy cheesy.”

“First, I meant that to be a bad thing. Secondly, I think you mean, like easy peasy.”

“But I prefer cheese to peas.”

Johnny thought for a second, then nodded in agreement. “Alright, I think part of the problem was it wasn’t really an obstacle course. Nothing was moving or anything, so it must have felt just like walking around boxes.”

“Well, to be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever done that.”

“But you could imagine that sensation,” Johnny replied. This time it was Mike nodding in agreement. “I have an idea to make it harder, but I have to go get something. You have to wait here since I am not flying you up here again.”

“Fine. I’ll amuse myself with my hats,” Mike said.

So, Johnny flew off, literally, while Mike amused himself with his hats. About 15 minutes later, Johnny returned. Several hats were on the floor beside Mike as he now had a beret on.

“Ho ho! Ah hope yew brought une baguette per moi,” Mike said in a poor French accent.

“Hey, that’s a pretty good imitation of a poor Frenchman!”

“Merci! Oooh, what you got there??”

“Well, I figured we needed to train you on how to dodge stuff coming at you fast, but shooting a gun at you would be dangerous, and we don’t have a gun anyway. But, I remembered I did have this.”

Mike’s eyes got wide. “Whoa!”

What was it? A rubber band ball? One of those weird pizza shooter toys from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Tune in next week, when you find out what exactly Johnny had.

Earlier this week, America had an election. And, we at the Pake Shlake Band have referenced the election every now and again. Well, now that it’s over we wanted to give one last tribute to the 2008 Campaign:

Write a poem summing up the 2008 Presidential Election.

Here is ours:

It’s us against them,
the Rep or the Dem,
The difference is clear, so just take your pick.
When all’s said and done,
There can only be one:
So the socialist beat out the maverick.

Ooh, nice rhyme scheme! (Thanks.) You’re welcome. Now, it’s your turn. Write a poem about the election. Post it in the comments.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll.

Pick your favorite, or the scariest, or the votiest. And then do like America did on Tuesday. (By that we mean vote).