The Recent Death

Nod It Up

When I say Hillshire you say Farm. Hillshire! Farm! Game Time!

Last Week's Winner

Last week, we played a new game, an as-yet-unnamed game, about coming up with a slogan for the fictitious product, "Ironic Twist". We had a bunch of answers, and now it's time for us to pick them apart.

Sam for the third straight week gave us lots of answers close to the deadline, and for the third straight week, we at the Pake Shlake Band cannot reward such procrastination. Well for the second straight week at least. Looks like we did let him win for his Lowell inspired headline. But there was no Lowell to save him today - he loses!

Tony, Nick and Joey had some good answers, but instead of giving us the ad slogan, they gave us more of a commercial sometimes with narrator included. So we don't think they should win. But maybe that could be another game. Come up with the best narrator to read the commercial of a fictitious product that you come up with. Kinda long name for a game.

Anyway, that leaves Lorenzo. Lorenzo should be thankful for the Process of Elimination. It made him our winner! (But his answer was good too.) Lorenzo said Ironic Twist is just plain tonic water, and the slogan is "Expecting something else? Why do you think we call it Ironic Twist?" Nice slogan, nice winner, nice process of elimination. Nice dog.

This Week's Game

And now we're going to keep the fun right where it belongs - in the advertising agency. The yet-to-be-named game has now taken upon a name of its own: Ad Geniuses. Or should we say the PSB Original Game Ad Geniuses? It's not a PSB Original until we say PSB Original before it.

We're gonna make it a little easier for you though. This time - and maybe from now on - we'll give you the name of the fictitious product, and we'll also explain what it is. All you have to do is come up with the slogan.

Here's this week's fictitious product:
A Wink and a Nod - a board game targeted at horse lovers

Ooh! Sounds like a fun game. Here's our answer:

A Wink and a Nod: Blind Horse Not Included

Toccate.

A Wink and a Nod

Do you know the expression, "A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse?" I don't get this expression at all.

1. Why are you winking or nodding at a horse? Is the horse an undercover spy that you are trying to communicate with?

2. If you are riding the horse, why don't you just say "Whoa!"?

3. Why are you riding a blind horse? Even if winking or nodding did anything, he's blind!

Oh, and 4. Don't we shoot horses when they go blind?

TTYL

"I'll talk to you later."

Why do people say that? I mean, sure it's true and all, and it seems like a nice way to end a conversation on a positive note, but think about it. What's the alternative?

"I will never speak to you again."

Actually, I kinda like that. From now on, I will assume that I will talk to you later. If we will never speak again, let me know so I can end the conversation accordingly.

Password

You know how email accounts make you log in with your address and your password? Why should they need both? Can't they do it with just your password?

Well, I guess the problem with that would be that then everyone would have to have different passwords, and what if someone else also wanted "fuzziekittiekats" to be their password? You'd accidentally log in to their email, and they might log in to yours and then you would get confused, and they would get confused, and all hell would break loose.

So, the moral of the story is "fuzziekittiekats" is not a secure password.

American Football

I got a great idea. I'm gonna change all references from the National Football League to the Nerf Football League. It'll still be the NFL so most people won't notice it for a while.

Then once people do notice the change, they'll be all freaked out like, "Oh my gosh, did you know the N stood for Nerf? We've got to do something about this!"

And then they'd start playing with neon colored plushy balls and it would be awesome.

Ironic Twist

Many a tear have to fall (do-do-do-do) but it's all (do-do-do-do) in the Game Time.

Last Week's Winner

We had a double dose of Headliners last week, where you the choice of two articles to create a headline for. One was about the passing of Les Paul, the other was about the passing of third-string quarterback Colt Brennan. Let's review the responses.

Sam was again the midnight responder, submitting two answers. With respect to the Redskins article, he gave the headline: "Ravens to Redskins: Nevermore." It was okay, but we thought it would have been more clever if it has said "Never score," because that rhymes and the Redskins were in fact shut out. His "Les Paul: Guitar Hero" answer was very clever, and probably would have won, except we chastised him last week for his late responses, and we felt we couldn't continue to reward his procrastination. At least not two weeks in a row. So, Sam loses on both counts.

Next, Tony gave the double answer, "Les Paul is dead, so are Redskins playoff hopes." This was good, but we thought it couldn't win, because what newspaper would put those two topics in the same article? the Washington Post hasn't condensed that much. So, Tony loses.

Then who wins? Well, it's Luca, for his response, "Les is No More." Short and sweet. Except, not that sweet since it's making light of someone's death. But, that's fine with us. Good work, Luca!

This Week's Game

For this week's game, we are going to change it up a bit. Earlier in the week, Mike pulled the ol' ironic twist on us, and then mentioned that Ironic Twist is a good product name. So, here is this week's game:

Come up with an advertising slogan for "Ironic Twist."

Now, here is our ironic twist, the product "Ironic Twist" can be anything. That's right, you get to decide what the product is and how to market it. How fun! Here's our answer:

Ironic Twist: Scoop It, Twist It, Trash It. Who's the Master? Ironic.

See? In this case, Ironic Twist was a pooper scooper. Your turn.

Snippety Snippers

So I was at Target the other day, and I spent most of my time walking back and forth between the Small Electric Appliances section and the Health and Beauty section (basically the bathroom stuff). You see, I was looking for an electric toothbrush, and it wasn't with the toothbrushes and it wasn't with the small electric stuff, but that didn't stop me from walking back and forth between the two sections again and again, hoping.

Well between those two sections, in this particular Target, there was the Pet Supplies section. And one of the many times I walked past it, I overheard this conversation:

Boy: Wow look at this pooper scooper! It's called "The POOper Scooper".
Girl: That's so cool.

Fugitives

You know what I think criminals should try more when they are trying to escape from police? They should dress up like women and flirt with the police officers and trick them into going the wrong direction. I don't know why you don't hear of more criminals escaping that way. It's like these convicts have never watched a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Writer's Block

I'm trying to write a story but I've hit a dead end. If any of you could help me that would be great. Here's what I have so far:

Once upon a time...

And that's all I've got.

Fans

It was hot last night and I couldn't get to sleep, so I brought in a fan. It didn't make the room any cooler, but I got some nice encouragement and learned some new cheers.

Get it? I set up the joke to make you think I brought in an electric fan, but really I brought in a cheering, sports fan. It's called ironic twist. That's a good name for a book. Or for a beverage.

Les Paul and the Redskins

Take me out to the Game Time, take me out with the Shlake!

In out last Game Time, we played the PSB Original Game, Little-Known Facts, where you had to provide some knowledge knuggets about Paul McCartney. Let's recap some of the best answers.

Joey Bag of Donuts told us about the song "Yesterday," and while this was interesting, we feel it bordered to much on the truth side, seeing as it was, in fact, true. Nice try, Joey, but we prefer that our little-known facts are not so fact-like. Sorry!

Next DJ and Nick had similar ideas, and combining their answers with our original answer, you get the very little-known fact that Paul McCartney of Liverpool is really the Irish-American Ringo MacCartney from Omaha, Nebraska. Wow, bet you didn't know that! But, since we don't like giving dual awards, they don't win.

Finally, we come to Sam. We had a great struggle with Sam. You see, we like people to respond early, and Sam waited until the last minute. But, we are glad to see people play. And, then he posted more than one answer, but, they were rather enjoyable. So, after much deliberation, we decided he should win, but get a reprimand. So, Sam wins for his fact: "Paul’s band Wings was named after the famous television sitcom about a New England airport." Ah, yes, Lowell would be honored. Nice job, Sam. But, next time, we won't be so generous, so shape up or ship out!

Now, for this week's game. Let's play another round of the PSB Original Game, Headliners. What do you say? Great. This week, we'll do the ol' two-for-one, where we'll give you two stories, and you can give us a headline for either one.

Les Paul, commonly credited with the invention of the electric guitar, died yesterday at the age of 94. He is best known for the guitar that bears his name, but also for muti-track recording which revolutionalized the music industry. He was also a guitarist himself, playing with people from Bing Crosby to Louis Armstrong. His death was caused from complications from pneumonia.

The Washington Redskins played their first pre-season game of the year yesterday, losing to the Baltimore Ravens 23-0. The Redskins offense looked impotent, the defense ineffective, and perhaps the only thing more futile than the Redskins third-down defense was the Ravens red-zone offense, as Baltimore twice marched down the field only to settle for field goals. The starters from both teams were removed by the second quarter, rendering the rest of the game a glorified try-out for the last few roster spots, for which no Redskin made a serious claim. Third-string quarterback Colt Brennan, vying to become second-string quarterback, did not help his cause, completing only a third of his passes and throwing the only interception of the game.

Here's our headline:
Redskins Lose Big; Pake Shlake Band Writes Scathing Recap

OK, now it's your turn. Give us a headline to either of those recaps, and see if it's your answer running in the papers next week. And by "running in the papers," we mean shouted-out on shlake.com. Post your headlines!

A Proper Ending

Whenever a TV show gets canceled without a proper series finale, I take it upon myself to make one up. For example, Gargamel ate all the freaking smurfs.

Talking Clocks

I woke up today and the clock said 7:25. I was a little confused since clocks can't talk. And that's when I realized I was dreaming.

Mr. Arm & Hammer

I like to imagine that Mr. Clean is the dude holding the hammer in the Arm & Hammer logo. Of course, then I get scared by the thought of Mr. Clean wielding a hammer.

Correction

Hello. As you may have noticed, my post today looks suspiciously like my post from Thursday. Allow me to explain. I was thinking about my Thursday post, and I thought that I kind of messed up the joke, and it was bothering me all weekend. So, I decided to try again today. You what they say, "If at first you don't succeed try, try again."

Or perhaps in this case, "If at first you butcher a joke, butcher, butcher again, until you bloodied the joke so badly that even it if it would have been humorist, your repeated attempts to fix it have rendered it totally unfunny." Either way, I think I did what the expression dictated.

Mythological Pets

If I had a dog, I would name him Rex. If I had a blind dog, I would name him Oedipus Rex.

And if I had a cat with the head of a man, I would name her Sphinx.

Can't Buy Me Little-Known Facts

It's Friday, and that can only mean one thing. That's right, folks, it's Game Time!

Last week we played a game where we gave you a punchline to a joke, and you had to supply the set-up. The punchline, if you recall, was: "Because Dracula can't flip pancakes!" Let's take a look at some of the jokes that you created.

Luca asked this question, "Why does Frankenstein always have to make breakfast?" with the punchline being as above. We thought that was funny. But, it does not win.

Tony supplied us with a dialog joke, which we at the Pake Shlake Band are rather fond of, and we are always looking for funny and creative answers to our games. Tony's answer was indeed creative. Unfortunately, it was not too funny. So he doesn't win.

The winner is Mama Meg! We actually struggled a lot with this, since she sort of changed the punchline around. So we are going to fix her answer and give it to you right now!

Mike: When Dracula applied for a job at the local diner, why did he request the night shift?
Johnny: I don't know, why?
Mike: Because Dracula can’t flip pancakes!
Johnny: Oh. I thought it was because he’s a vampire, and he will die if he sees the sun.
Mike: Well, I guess that's another reason.
Johnny: Yeah, but if he works at a diner, don't they make breakfast all day long? I mean, he might still have to flip pancakes.
Mike: Oh, that's a good point. Maybe they have two cooks per shift.
Johnny: Maybe, but you don't need two cooks for 3 AM, do you?
Mike: Yeah, probably not. I don't think he's gonna get hired then.
Johnny: Yeah, and being a vampire also probably makes it harder to get a job.
Mike: He could probably be a waiter though.
Johnny: I guess.

Wow, that's a really funny one Mama Meg! Nicely done! Now, we turn our attention to this week's game.

For those of you who don't know, Paul McCartney has recently been on tour, and last Saturday he performed at FedEx Field, here is Washington, DC. (OK, technically it's Landover, Maryland, not Washington, DC, but you get the idea.) So, for this week's Game Time, we thought we would honor Sir Paul with an edition of the PSB Original Game, Little-Known Facts.

Give a little-known fact about Paul McCartney.

This is what we recently "found out" about Paul:

Paul McCartney was actually born in Omaha, Nebraska. His Liverpool accent is fake.

Wow, did you know that? Neither did we. Now it's your turn to come up with your own little-known fact. Good luck!

Mythological Pets

If I had a blind dog, I would name him Oedipus Rex.

And if I had a cat with the head of a man, I would name her Sphinx.

Magic Doors

If I'm ever being chased by a person from like hundreds of years ago, I'm so running into an office building and taking an elevator. That dude would be so confused about where I went. He'd be like, "Where did he go? I followed him into this room, and he must have gone into one of those doors. But I cannot open them." And then when the elevator comes back then he'd be really confused. "Now the door has magically opened and there is no one inside. What dark magic is this?".

Oh, and he's probably a little confused about being transported through time too.

Hot Enough For Ya?

I get really annoyed when people say, "Hot enough for ya?" on a hot day. What does that question even mean? Am I supposed to respond? "No, make it hotter?" or maybe "Oh, yes, too hot for me, but you must be super cool since you can scoff at the temperature." I prefer, "Dude, you're a big fat idiot."

Obsolete Clocks

Does anybody know why we still have analog clocks? My only guess is so when you ask "What has two hands and a face but no arms and legs?" you don't have to answer "A monster!!"