Graveyard Stories

It's the end of Halloweek. That can only mean one thing: Game Time!

Last Week's Winner

Last week, Johnny made a "sentence" using each letter of the alphabet exactly once. But since his "sentence" was really just a random assortment of words, he gave a picture to try to explain it. And, we asked you to create a funny caption for the picture in the PSB Original Game, Say What?. Let's look at the responses.

First off, Elizabeth and Tony, whose captions were "Eat More Chicken" and "I should probably mooooove" both lose. We said no cow jokes!

Next, Lorenzo and Luca both had play on words, one about Colonel Sanders and the other about X's, O's and oxen. They were clever, but they don't win.

We narrowed it down to two: Russ' caption, "…and the ox goes for the hail-gravy pass…!!" and Tony's second response, "After this play Dan Snyder has banned all condiments from Fed Ox Field." In general, we approve of all jokes insulting Dan Synder. However, we are still a little mad at Tony for his cow joke, so Russ gets the "W"! Good job, Rwuss!

This Week's Game

For those of you who don't know, tomorrow is Halloween, and we at the Pake Shlake Band have been honoring that fact with Halloweek, a week full of posts. And it wouldn't be Halloweek if we didn't play a spooky Game Time!

As has been our tradition on Halloween, we give you the start of a scary short story, and you write it. The catch? It has to be a really short story. Here's your intro:

Write a Halloween story (50 words or less) that begins with “I was in the graveyard when...”

Here is our story:

I was in the graveyard when the church clock struck 12. I looked around. "Oh, no!" I screamed. I started running. I ran as fast as I could, looking wildly around in every direction. But, to no avail. I could not find my lunch.

And I was getting hungry too.

Ooh! He was in the graveyard at noon and couldn't find his lunch! Oooh! Scaaaary!

Now, it's your turn.

Scary Costume

Unlike Johnny, I still haven't decided what to go as for Halloween. I have a rule that it has to be scary. For example, last year I went as a recycling bin.

Now, maybe you're thinking, that's not scary. Ahh, but I went as an empty recycling bin. Oooh! No one's recycling! Global warming!! Oooh! Scaaary!!!

Jimmy's Costume

Halloween Party in the USA

I think I'm gonna go as Miley Cyrus for Halloween. I'll just wear a cardigan and some sneakers and move my hips like "Yeah!"

Trick or Treat

Say Ox?

Gate Mime? Magi Meet? Game Time!

Last Week's Winner

We played the PSB Original Game Bests And Worsts last week, asking you to come up with the worst name for a band. Let's look at the best, or should we say worst, responses.

Big A thought "the Cacaphonies" would be an awful name, and we concur. But, his tagline overdid it. Bands don't really have taglines. So that answer doesn't win.

Sam posted two answers, "The Off-Keys" and "The Flat Heads". Eh.

Luca came close with his response of "The Beach Boys." That's a pretty dumb name for a band, but since the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn't agree, that answer doesn't win, either.

Which means that Elizabeth wins with her group, "The Deaftones." Get it? Like the Deftones, but deaf. Well done, Elizabeth!

This Week's Game

Yesterday, Johnny decided to use all the letters in the alphabet exactly once to make a sentence about gravy and ox and blitz-jump. And since he had a drawing to go along with it, we thought we would play the PSB Original Game, Say What?, where your job is to come up with a funny caption to a picture.

Here's the picture:


Now, come up with a funny caption. Here's ours:

All this gravy and me with no mashed potatoes!

See? Easy. And we're sure your responses will be funnier than that one.

So, please put your captions in the comments. And please, no jokes about how the ox really looks like a cow. Johnny has always been very sensitive about his ox representations, and we don't want to fracture his ego further.

Alphabet Efficiency

You know the sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"? It uses every letter in the alphabet, and so it's sometimes used to test fonts.

The thing is it uses like 30-something letters (I'm too lazy to count) and it uses the letter 'O' something like five times (too lazy, again).

If you're gonna make a sentence that uses every letter in the alphabet, then that sentence had better be 26 letters. Like this:

Q: When'd KFC's gravy blitz-jump ox?

Now, that's what I call efficient.

(PS: How can I be too lazy to count the letters in a sentence, but I can come up with a sentence using the entire alphabet?)

Go West is Dead, Long Live the King!

I am the crown prince of wishful thinking.

MVEMJSUN

Anybody remember the mneumonic device - yes, I threw out mneumonic - to remember the planets? I keep saying,

My Very Own Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas.

True, Pluto's not a planet anymore, so we need to update that. But the bigger issue is that Earth does not start with the letter O. So I must be remembering it wrong.

I couldn't find anything definitive using Google - some said Earnest, some said Energetic, some said Educated, some said Eager, some said Excellent.

One even said she served us Pickles instead of Pizza. That one should be "My Very Evil Mother."

Anyway, so since Google let me down, I turned to my source-of-all-knowledge, and it did not disappoint. Check this oooouuuuut: Planetary mnemonic.

First thing you should notice is that I spelled mnemonic wrong. I guess I got it confused with mneumonia.

Anyway, the Wikigods say that it was Earnest until some losers changed it to Educated and took away the Pizza. I guess only us uneducated folks like to enjoy tasty cheesy goodness.

But now that there's no Pluto, it's all about Nachos:

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos.

Hmm, education + cheesy food = not bad.

The Stock Market

Bad Band Names

It is time for games. It is time for game. Singular. Game Time.

Last Week's Winner

This past Monday was Columbus Day (to honor Columbus, we didn't post), and last week's Game Time was centered around his infamous voyage in 1492. We played the PSB Original Game Headliners, asking you to give us a clever headline. Let's take a look at the newspaper-worthy submissions.

Sam seems to have restarted his trend of posting right under the deadline, but since this is a game about newspaper headlines, we think that's appropriate. His "Santa Maria!" headline was funny but not particularly descriptive. He probably would have needed a sub-headline to win with it. And since he didn't have one, he doesn't. Win, that is.

Lorenzo and Joey had a nice back and forth about cities named after Columbus, but we felt that was a little too modern. We were looking for headlines from the 15th century, not the 19th century.

Tony's headline was perhaps a foreshadowing of future events, "Columbus Reaches New World, Natives Restless." This was funny, but it doesn't win. So who does?

Why, Nick, of course! We thought his headline, "Suicidal Columbus Will Fall Off Earth’s Edge!" accurately summed up the sentiment in Europe at the time. Nice job, Nick!

This Week's Game

Earlier this week, Mike talked about the murderous video and the Buggles who paid tribute to said video.

Well, that got us thinking. Buggles is a pretty silly name for a band. So, we thought we should play the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts. Here's your game:

Worst name for a band.

We think the worst name would be the Off-keys.

What do you think? Post, my friends, post!

We Find Video...Guilty!

You know the Buggles? They sing the song "Video Killed the Radio Star." Is it ironic that I have no idea what the Buggles look like?

I think it is. So I looked them up. It turns out I was lucky I didn't know what the Buggles looked like.

PS Which of those two dudes is the one who sings the "Oh ah oh!" part?

Phoney Customer Service

I love how when I'm on the phone with some company, they always tell me (while I'm on hold waiting for a real person) that I can find the information I need on their website. Obviously the information I need is not on your website or why else would I be calling? You think I don't know how to find find something online? I found Pandamonium; I can find anything.

I can't tell which is better:

A) When I'm on the phone with my Internet provider because I can't access the web, and they tell me to go online

B) When whoever I'm on the phone with tells me to go to their "internet page site" at "http colon back slash back slash www dot whatever dot com dash help dash support dot html" and enter "keyword support"

C) They don't even have a website anymore. They just don't want to answer the phone.

I kinda like C the best. That's what I'd do if I ever had to provide some kinda support.

The Nobel Peace Prize

Columbus!

Hey hey, you you, I don't like your Game Time. You don't???
No way, no way, I think you need a new one. That's not a bad idea.

Last Week's Winner

Last Friday, we played a round of the PSB Original Game, Bests and Worsts, all about state songs. You had to come up with the worst songs about United States states and you didn't disappoint point.

We heard everything from real songs about states (“Delaware”) to real songs not even remotely about states but for some reason adopted by states (“Hang On Sloopy”) to real songs with the titles twisted to sound like they're about states (“You're So Maine”) to songs by artists whose names sounds like states (Hannah Montana) to completely made up songs (“I Need to Know, so Alaska”).

That makes it kinda hard to pick the winner, so we have to dig a little deeper to find out the cream of the crop. You see, sometimes the cream doesn't rise to the top, and you have to dig further down into the muck.

David submitted a youtube video to go along with his submission while Big A sent along the lyrics.

Sam submitted two responses, including runner-up “Deep in the Heart past the Aorta through the Coronary Artery of Texas”.

But the winner is... Sonny with the answer “Raise Up” by Petey Pablo, whose real name Sonny pointed out is Moses Barrett III.

How Moses turns into Petey, Barrett turns into Pablo, and a song about taking your shirt off in North Carolina turns into a Top 25 hit are all mysteries to us. But it earned Sonny a victory.

This Week's Game

For those of you who don't know, this Monday is Columbus Day. Observed. So, we thought we would dedicate this week's Game Time to Christopher Columbus. Observed. We're playing the PSB Original Game, Headliners, where this week your goal is to come up with a clever headline to the following article about Columbus. Observed.

On October 12th, Christopher Columbus and his crew landed in the New World. Sailing for King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain, Columbus took three ships, the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, across the Atlantic Ocean in hopes of finding a water route to India. Columbus himself was convinced that he had in fact reached India, but it was clear that he had not. A newly unknown land has been discovered.

Your goal: To come up with a headline for this article. BUT, as we like to do with articles summarizing events from way back, you should write a headline that could have run in the time of Columbus. Observed. Here's ours:

A couple days ago, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

It doesn't have quite the same ring, but I'm sure Gutenberg would print it. (Johannes, not Steve. Well, Steve would probably print it, too.) Anyway, post your headlines honoring Columbus in the comments. Observed.

We're Two!

Can you believe it? Shlake.com turns two today!

If you've noticed, since last year, we've grown necks and slightly more realistic arms. What a difference a year makes.

Duck Confusion

I find people who get Donald Duck and Daffy Duck confused to be the stupidest people in the world.

Raving Reviews

So a few weeks back, Mike wrote a post about nuts and how it's strange that we use the same word for a tasty salty snack and for a piece of metal found in a toolbox.

Well, I guess there's a massive audience for mildly amusing play-on-words involving grocery store and hardware store items because he's received 50 comments in the past couple days, and they all are nothing short of raving.

"Perfect work!", "Great. Now i can say thank you!", and "Very cute :-))))" are just some of the responses he's received, and after posting over 150 times on this site, I'm disappointed I have yet to receive such positive feedback.

I guess I'll have to write more about animal cracker monkey wrenches or something.

Denmark

Sing It, Nebraska

The Time for the Game is now.

Last Week's Winner

Last week, we played another round of the PSB Original Game, Little Known Facts. This time it was all about the United Nations, as we asked everybody to tell us a little known "fact" about the ol' U.N. An example would be, "No one has ever referred to the United Nations as 'the ol' U.N.'"

But that's just an example. Here were your answers.

Lorenzo and Luca talked too much about Tommy Lasorda. They lose.

Pep made a joke about D.C. United's press releases. That's funny. If you read D.C. United press releases. He loses.

Max said the ol' U.N. would have given in to Dr. Evil's terrorist demands. That little known fact is almost too-facty. At least, we believe they woulda done it. So he loses.

Joey Bag of Donuts might have won if he hadn't first insulted Boutros Boutros, or as he as affectionately known, the ol B.B. But he did insult him, so Joey cannot win.
(It's in the Little Known Facts official rulebook, right after you can't mention Tommy Lasorda)

So who's the winner? Is it Elizabeth or is it Tony?

It's Tony with his Little Known Fact, "There are only 2 places in the United States of America where another flag can be flown above the U.S. Flag. One is U.N. Headquarters, the other is McDonald’s."

So good for him. And good for Grimace.

This Week's Game

So yesterday, Mike intentionally unintentionally offended West Virginia and Alabama by unintentionally intentionally praising the famous songs about them. He said something about the best songs and the worst states, and that naturally brought to mind the PSB Original Game Bests and Worsts.

So let's play it. Play what? Bests and Worsts, of course. With this topic:

Worst song about a state.

Hmm... worst song about a state, eh? Lemme think here....Oooh

We Built Minnesota on Rock and Roll

See? The song does not have to be a REAL song, but it has to be like, KINDOFASONG. Anyway, it's your turn to play. Come up with something song-related, state-related, or both, and post it in the comments.

Well I Heard ol' Mike Put Her Down...

No disrespect to West Virginia and Alabama, but why do the two worst states in the Union get the two best songs? I mean, you never hear people singing "In the Lovely Land of Florida," but do you know anyone who would rather live in Mobile or Morgantown instead of Miami?

Oh, and before, when I said "No disrespect to West Virginia and Alabama," I meant, "I'm about to disrespect West Virginia and Alabama. Big Time."